Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Yankee Payload

Derek Jeter, WMD?

In the new Yankee Stadium, fans are urged on in their revelry by a barrage of music and images emanating from the giant, high-definition video screen that dominates the field.

Late in the game on May 20, there was a cause for celebration—perhaps the Derek Jeter double that drove in two runs in the bottom of the eighth.

Up on the megascreen, I saw a giant cartoon image of the underside of a plane.

The cargo doors on the plane’s belly opened. It was just like one of those shots of B-52s unloading on Vietnam, except that the payload wasn’t bombs, it was a pair of enormous baseballs.

That was disturbing, but soon I was aghast. The cartoon’s view shifted to a plane’s-eye view of a city grid—yes, just like one of those aerial shots of Hiroshima being targeted by the Enola Gay.

The ball-bombs fell toward a green area in the center of the grid—that would be Yankee Stadium, with all of us who’d made it through the big show of anti-terror security in it.

There was a little puff of smoke as the cartoon balls made their purported impact, undoubtedly blowing those poor Orioles to smithereens.

Although the team's radio announcer famously proclaims “an A-bomb from A-Rod!” every time Alex Rodriguez hits a home run, the Yankee videographers drew the line, I’m happy to say, at a mushroom cloud.

THE BRONX BOMBERS STRIKE AGAIN! the video screamed.

Nobody else seemed to mind.

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